What to Watch for

Unusual moles that may indicate melanoma:

To help you identify characteristics of unusual moles that may indicate melanomas or other skin cancers, think of the letters A-B-C-D-E:

A) is for asymmetrical shape. Look for moles with irregular shapes, such as two very different-looking halves.

B) is for irregular border. Look for moles with irregular, notched or scalloped borders — characteristics of melanomas.

C) is for changes in color. Look for growths that have many colors or an uneven distribution of color.

D)is for diameter. Look for new growth in a mole larger than 1/4 inch (about 6 millimeters).

E) is for evolving. Look for changes over time, such as a mole that grows in size or that changes color or shape. Moles may also evolve to develop new signs and symptoms, such as new itchiness or bleeding.Other suspicious changes in a mole may include:

Scaliness Itching Spreading of pigment from the mole into the surrounding skin Oozing or bleeding Cancerous (malignant) moles vary greatly in appearance. Some may show all of the changes listed above, while others may have only one or two unusual characteristics.

Sunscreen became very important in our house, having two fair skinned, blonde hair, blue eyed girls, we became very concerned with their skin care and when asked as the teenage years came "can I go to a tanning bed?" the answer was "NO" I know some of this is graphic and yucky to read, but so is the alternative.

Part One

(This is a story I have never written about, I feel like its time for so many reasons. It will take more than one post)

January 1999

“It is nothing to be concerned with, I would probably just have it removed for precaution” said the family Doctor who called us after the biopsy results had come back, so we did just that made an appointment to have it removed. The spot on Brads back had been there since we married at 19 but had lately started to change a bit in size, shape, and color.

February

The door opened late as it always did on basketball nights but this time I heard two voices, as I went out to see why, I saw his friend helping him limp in as I thought, “oh crap what did he break?” It wasn’t 3 weeks later we were up in Provo having his ACL repaired, and spent the next few months helping him recover and taking him to re-hab appointments. To be honest the spot on his back was out of our minds.

July

Brad takes Torrie to Lake Powell with his family, she always loved the cliff jumping, tubing, and camping with her Aunts and Uncles. Lake Powell had been a part of almost every summer for him growing up and with his fair skin, blue eyes and red tinted hair the rays made for some serious sunburns throughout the years. Brad mentions when he gets home that it is probably time to go ahead and follow the Dr’s advice and have that spot removed because when he was in Lake Powell he said it felt like hot needles pocking his back on the spot when he was out in the sun.

August

Dr Smith has Brad prepped and ready to scrap off the spot as he pauses and asks, “What did they say this was?” and decides to biopsy it. Honestly, we put it out of our minds again. A few days later I get a call at home, its Dr Smith, what he said next was all a mumble to me as I tried to piece together the important words “Surgery” “Melanoma” “MALIGNANT” “Salt Lake City” and “no this cannot wait”. Within a few days we were at LDS Hospital and Brad was lying on a cold table in a radioactive room with blue dye being pumped into him to see which way the melanoma was growing. Surgery the next day went well leaving a very big open wound on his back across his shoulder blade and towards his arm; the lymph nodes had been removed as well. We were sent on our way to recover over the weekend and told to come back Monday for the results; we stayed in Provo and tried to carry on as normal. The wound was so big and so deep it was hard to keep the stitches from ripping open. Essentially, he had about a 2x7 inch strip of skin removed and 1 inch deep at the point around the spot. Metal stitches tried holding it together (they really should have grafted it) so any time he moved it would rip open and (sorry graphic) ooze out, it was impossible to keep him down so we were constantly changing the dressing on it. By the way I am NO nurse and do not have a good stomach for those things, but I did it.

Brad had turned 27 just a week before; I sat there waiting for the Dr on Monday with all the possibilities reeling in my head. What this could mean for our lives our children’s lives, honestly, I felt very alone and could not imagine what he must be feeling. The Doctor announced that the lymph nodes were clean!! We were told that had Doctor Smith just scraped of the spot it was already internal and it would have spread to his organs and probably would not have lived another year, we would never had known it was in him until it was to late! He believed he had removed it all but he would need to be monitored every 6 months and with chest X-rays every year. It had not even been a week since the original phone call from Dr Smith.

We had been through Cancer …..The initial emotions, the fear, the worry, the being strong and ready to fight all in less than a week. I have always been grateful for that and realize it is not like that for so so many people. Over the years there were checkups some chest X-rays, and some treatments on the face as many skin cancers (Basal Cell and Squamous Cell Carcinoma’s) started to pop up. We felt like a bullet had been dodged when we reached the 5-year mark and then the 10-year.

The Questions:

Why had we waited so long to have it removed?

If it was nothing to worry about in Feb was it a mis-diagnoses or had it grown that fast by August? (I believe it was that fast moving)

Why didnt I know what to look for and say something as I saw it changing over the years?

Did the Doctor REALLY get it all, or was there some lingering cell in there ready to attack?

Why was there not more education about this towards young people?

Every young person needs to watch this, how many peope just dont know? Dear 16 year old me.

TOU Half Marathon

I have always wanted to do another half marathon but I am a “Been there Done That” kinda gal, and having done Bryce Canyon twice I was ready for a different course although I loved that one! I set my sights on TOU (Top of Utah) Half, and yes it is at the very top of Utah, me living at the BOU (Bottom of Utah) this was a long way to travel for a race. After the logistics of the husband getting me to Murray to meet up with Melanie, then back to Provo to meet up with the football team, getting my daughter on her way with the volleyball team to West Jordan, and my other daughter dropped off at the grandparents house, I was already tired. Melanie and I stopped in Layton at Boston’s for some carb loading from our man Morris.

We then made our way to Logan to pick up our packets when I saw this I knew this was going to be a great race.

I mean really colored coordinated porta potties this in my book was a good sign. We made our way around the park and found the half off rack of great running clothes you can never have to many running clothes.

I could have gone home right then and been satisfied, but the lack of a finishers medal was a problem. We met up with some friends had some more food and a lot of laughs, can I just say I love runners I have met some of the best people through running, finally making our way to a bed about 9:30 and an alarm set for 4:30.

On the bus ride up the canyon I turned to Melanie and said "This is living!" she laughed at me but I was serious. It was early, dark and cold and we had both just questioned why do we do these things. I could write a entire post on the why's. As we made our way down the canyon on foot and the muscles started to hurt and the sweat began to fall and I wondered if I could really go the whole way I listened to my labored breathing and thought "Yep , this is living". I didnt wear my garmin and loved how I was not a slave to it, I ran and just enjoyed it didnt worry about my pace or what mile I was on. A huge shout out to the lady by the Maverik that yelled to me "You can do it, less than 3 miles left", I thought I had over 4 miles left and felt the gas running out as I thought my target time was out the window I looked at my watch and realized I was right on track and picked up the pace. I was within my time goal and shaved off 3 minutes from my last Half.

The course was beautiful, I felt like I could tell I was a BOU girl running at the TOU and the altitude affected my breathing. I had a stubborn side ache at mile 2 that hung around the whole time I think becuase I was breathing so hard. The aid stations were amazing and the orange slices hit the spot. I loved having the crowds to cheer us on, most races I have done are pretty lacking in crowds. We spotted a blogger we have followed for a while at the starting line, Susette she was great and didnt seem nervous that we (strangers) were so excited to see her and asked for a picture with her. Her Blog

I was a little sad at the finish line that they only had water and gatorade and would have paid dearly for some chocolate milk, but the Fat Boy ice cream sandwich made up for it, well almost. I would do this race again but I am also excited to shake it up and try some other ones. Next up Cedar City Half on Sept 15th, a little closer to home.

Weekend Plans... and side stories

We Gardner’s like to see how much fun and excitement we can cram into one weekend. We are all headed up North. Friday night football at West Jordan, and Friday and Saturday volleyball at Bingham High, a long overdue Gardner get together with all the Sis's and Bro's on Saturday night (missing the Hatch's big time :( and becuase that wasnt enough I decided to throw in this.........

and this is why....

This is so true! You really do forget how painful these things are and they sound like a really good idea a short time after, kinda like baby amnesia you find yourself wanting to do it again only to get a few days away from it and the flood of memories comes rushing back to you, and you think “oh crap this is gonna hurt!” However nothing beats crossing that finish line, not as good as giving birth to a beautiful child, but close hahah.

My friend Melanie has been my long distance running buddy, we have trained for a marathon and a half marathon together all while living 6 hours apart. The runs are pretty boring but calling each other afterwards to give a full report of how the run went has honestly helped me so much. I cannot count the times I called her or she called me after a long marathon training run and we said “I CANT DO THIS” we would offer encouragement to each other and remind ourselves why we are doing this (ya that parts still fuzzy).

My favorite times are when we have gotten to actually run together doing 2 Ragnar’s together and the marathon, which she smoked me at! I honestly hope I can keep up with her for the TOU Half, we have agreed to make this an experience and just have FUN.

(Side story) The first time we did Ragnar the van was full of people I knew but Melanie didn’t, she was being so thoughtful and helpful with buying supplies and things for our van. There was a full Costco size box of Veggie Straws that was being moved around the van and just seemed to be in the way, Kelli decided to finally just sleep with them.

Finally getting annoyed with them she says "WHO brought these Damn Veggie Straws?"

Melanie raised her hands and said "I DID, you want some?"

Every one laughed and the next 35 hours together was sure smelly, sleep deprived bliss.

Re-Do

So I am starting over, yep that is right I caved in, fell off the wagon, I wouldn’t say I was ran over by the wheel so I am able to pull myself backup and put myself in the driver’s seat.

A few things I realized:

It is hard to stay sugar free on “special events” more specifically birthdays. I noticed while on my 7 day no sugar streak that I felt great and did not have my normal afternoon crashes in energy.

I did not have any headaches, other than a small brief one on what I believe was my detox day.

When I did fall and eat the sugar I had a headache brewing within an hour!

I was so tired and grumpy the day after I had the sugar.

While not eating the sugar my hunger seemed to keep itself in check I didn’t have those afternoon and late night cravings. I attribute this to keeping the blood sugar balanced instead of peaking and dipping.

So I shall continue my quest to find balance, to be 99% sugar free. I am not going to count the days I am going to note the positive benefits from continuing to be sugar free.

Daddy needs to lock the doors, someone turns 16 today!

My baby girl turns 16

Happy Birthday to my Kyndall May! I can hardly believe your turning 16, some random things I love about you.

You ARE your father’s daughter!

You are one of the most compassionate people I know.

You always have something good to say about others, and often times see qualities in them no one else does.

You are a great competitor and have worked SO hard for your spot on the volleyball team, even when things got tough you never quit.

You love and would protect your sister to the ends of the world and back.

You are loyal.

You are humble.

You are always willing to help me.

You are not afraid to try new things.

You are a great student and work really hard to get good grades even when it doesn’t come easy to you.

You have an amazing testimony of your Father in Heaven.

It is hard to see your baby grow up, to start to date! To drive! I try to remember and cherish all my memories of you as a baby, and a toddler, and a child and I am so excited to do the same for the memories you have yet to create. You continue to make me so proud of who you are.

Day 5 CARBS!

Carb’s are important if you are training for a half marathon!

I went out solo Thursday morning for my run and really struggled, it was as if my muscles were screaming for fuel. I will load up today (Friday) for my long training run of 11 miles tomorrow (Saturday, a little late posting this) with “Good Carbs”.

I am still free of the sugar and feeling really good, a bit of a headache Wednesday afternoon but all clear since, which is amazing because the most obnoxious part of my sugar addiction was the brutal headaches. The weekend will be the real test, it is usually when I fall off the wagon tumbling to the ground and most often end up being run over by the wheel.

Day 3

So far so good, having some fruit has helped. Cari said basically what I wanted to do sounds like the South Beach diet but on that you can’t have fruit! My main objective is to get the “White Stuff” out of my system and if some fruit is how I do it then I guess I am not a South Beach’er.

I have noticed the times of day that trigger me, afternoon and right after dinner. There are so many great sugar free options out there however I don’t think that the artificial sweetener is any better for you then sugar, actually I think sugar is better for you at least your body knows what sugar is my favorite line goes like this “If it takes a factory to make it, it takes a factory to break it down in your body”

The weekend will be the big test the big "Gatorade Bowl" (basically a pre season scimmage game against oursleves) is Friday and Friday night games usually equate to some amazing sugar creation by Cari. We might have to break down and get some sugar free life savers to suck on :)

The White Stuff!

I was watching a commercial during the Olympics of various athletes talking about what they had given up or sacrificed to follow their dreams of been an Olympian; a male gymnast said “I have not ordered dessert in 2 year”. Oh my start the award ceremony right now this guy deserves a gold medal just for that!

Why are we so in love with the white stuff? I have been on a quest to find out I have read and read and searched I have come to realize just how bad this stuff is for us (like I really didn’t know that on my own?) and that they put it in everything! I decided to find out why I cannot seem to shake the excessive sugar habit, below is a survey which by the way I FAILED! See how you do by answering yes or no to each question

Take this quiz to see if you are addicted to sugar:

• Have you ever used sugar as a reward for something? YEP

• Have you ever used sugar to change your mood, like when you felt sad, tired, or when you needed a lift? YES

• Have you ever eaten sugar even when you weren’t hungry? THAT’S A POSITIVE!

• Have you ever tried to stop eating sugar and couldn’t? ohh YES

• Have you ever taken a small bite of something sweet and felt compelled to finish the whole thing? ABSOLUTELY

• Have you ever banished sugar and carbohydrates from your diet, but began eating them again because you couldn’t resist the pull they had on you? SI

• Have you ever quit eating sugar and when you started eating it again, couldn’t stop binging? UH HUH

After realizing that I answered YES to everyone of those questions, and the second but not insignificant fact that I am borderline Type 2 diabetic, I have decided to make a change. I believe in moderation and that if you tell yourself you cannot have something that is all you think about but considering my desperate state of addiction it is necessary that I go on a strict NO sugar challenge.

My friend and I decided to do this together, because I cannot lie to her if I cheat and its great accountability. The one stipulation was that we not start until after her daughters b-day party on Saturday hahaha, call it what you will one last hooray, the last super, and the fact that Carie makes the world’s best treats! She’s a baker and a good one she has made the most beautiful wedding cakes for years, in retirement from that now but I am crossing fingers shell come out of it for at least two more occasions (my girls:) This will be tough on her too when you’re a master of sugar creations like she is.

We decided to start with a 2 week challenge and believe at the end we will feel so good that we will extend it 2 more weeks, after that maybe adding back in some things like natural sweeteners, honey, molasses, and agave.

Also this just in! Brad is going to join us, more on why in the next post.